All too familiar.
Two am. Darn Sniff-The Cat. Grumbling, I pulled the box of cat food out of the cupboard, and noticing it was a new brand 'er indoors had bought, so I inclined my head to have a look at the ingredients.
Then that odd disconnected feeling crept through my mind, and it was, oh, bugger - hello floor.
Me and my mate floor are close acquaintances. Usually because it gets jealous - well, that's my theory. It hates me ignoring it. So it pulls me down for a cuddle. I get bruises on bit's and pieces you would not believe.
Dunno how long I was down there. Not long I guess, and I wasn't in any pain, which was a relief. Time and place didn't have any meaning really. While a tiny bit of me waited for friend-floor and the rest of me to reach some sort of agreement, I was quite happy to stare at the bottom of the kitchen plinth (darn it - I was sure I'd cleaned that bit !)
Somehow another part of me was observing an organised chaotic happy chaos, er..thingy, off 'over there' somewhere. If that doesn't make any sense to you, then join the club. A battle was being fought in a field of cotton wool somewhere nearby, and whoever it was seemed to be winning. Though I was vaguely annoyed that he/them was thrashing his left arm about. "He aught to be careful" I remember thinking "He's going to hurt someone - like me for instance, the pillock".
Ah - he's stopped. Perhaps I can get up now? Ta mate. Wonder who won?
Took me a little while before the empty space that seemed to have gathered, convulsed into some kind of order. Did I say it was familiar? Did didn't I. Righty Ho.
Went through a scrappy kinda checklist. Checked the bits of him/me I could see, and non of them had grown green, glowing or muscular, so it wasn't that then. That left flying, which I knew I could do anyway, with a bit of effort. So it was a case of grabbing the nearest drawer handle (up there somewhere) and doing the flip/twist/pull/fly than float back down onto my left foot, as I'd done before.
Success. My head followed a couple of minutes later. I think. Somehow During the flip/twist/pull/fly, I'd found myself leaning against the door frame to the living room. Trying to walk seemed a half-way decent idea. As I tried, it felt as if I was tipping over, so I'd lean the other way and find myself tipping sideways instead. Bugger.
I cannot over-exaggerate how unwell I felt. Tsk. Of course. Right side hadn't worked well before floor-cuddle 'cause of last time. And the time before that.
All of a sudden, I felt like there was a kind of space left in my head that wouldn't be filled, and wouldn't work again. I knew I wouldn't be able to speak if I tried, but then when I did try I found I could. Not that it made much sense. I was talking to myself anyhow. "First sign of losing it, Wheelie ol' son" I said. He was going to disagree, so I told him "Shut it!". Perhaps I was a little harsh.
My rational mind was saying: "You can do this" but my first reaction to anything, such as moving my right arm, was :- "I can't do this." But I could. Just about. It had felt for yonks like it belonged to someone else anyway. Same but worse. Left side was peachy, though.
That was a few days ago. The nausea wore off by the time I awoke. I'm exhausted, and That Darn Cat had to wait. Guess your first question would be "What did the medics say?"
I dunno. Didn't ask. I know what it was - it's happened before. I will, of course, drop them a line and let them know. All I have to do is point them here - I know the routine. It was a small stroke, and it's just not worth weeks in hospital and all that prodding and poking. And take it from one who knows, I'm already taking 19 tablets a day, and there's nothing more they can give me. It's down to me.
Unless someone out there knows of any new treatments available?
For you ordinary mortals - and if you'll forgive me for repeating myself :-
FAST
F - Facial Weakness
A - Arm weakness
S - Speech problems
T - Test all three.
Monday, 14 July 2008
Monday, 30 June 2008
Uff. I'm tired.
But then, some times, that's the price you pay for being up-front. Sometimes, you just have to be in-your-face with people. It's unlikely that those you love will understand that immediately. But it has to be done, unless you want to become invisible, ignored or an inconvenience.
I'm sure it's not deliberate. But I'm a person. Not work.
But then, some times, that's the price you pay for being up-front. Sometimes, you just have to be in-your-face with people. It's unlikely that those you love will understand that immediately. But it has to be done, unless you want to become invisible, ignored or an inconvenience.
I'm sure it's not deliberate. But I'm a person. Not work.
Saturday, 26 April 2008
Info
Just playing around looking for an email address for my GP on Google,
came across this site :-
http://www.nhs.uk/Pages/homepage.aspx
Playing around with the site I discovered that it shows some simple
performance graphs for GP's, as well as giving email addresses and
contact numbers, among other info. Like wise, you can also find out
which Dentists in your area are accepting patients and what kind of
patients they are accepting..... (bet you didn't know you were in a
category did you?) and other services. For instance, there's
some basic info about stroke, diabetes, what-have-you too.
Quite handy
came across this site :-
http://www.nhs.uk/Pages/homepage.aspx
Playing around with the site I discovered that it shows some simple
performance graphs for GP's, as well as giving email addresses and
contact numbers, among other info. Like wise, you can also find out
which Dentists in your area are accepting patients and what kind of
patients they are accepting..... (bet you didn't know you were in a
category did you?) and other services. For instance, there's
some basic info about stroke, diabetes, what-have-you too.
Quite handy
Thursday, 17 April 2008
Nice.
Well, all done with the 'little adaptions'. Much better than expected :)
I expected simple D-handles, but the second stair-rail (our stairs are enclosed rather than open bannister) is a combo of kinda twisty grab handle thingies and wooden rails. Likewise, kitchen to downstairs loo is a wrap-around rail. I'm well impressed. No more making like a chimp to get upstairs. Before I'd worked under the principle of walking upstairs was a process of falling over and avoiding falling backwards at all costs.
Now it's a doddle, and I can take my time.
The toilet fitted rail that helps me get on and off is shaped, and comfortable to use, but unlike the others, is plastic. I have a bit of a niggle whether it's going to be sturdy, but hey, I'll see how it goes.
Still waiting for a reply to the City Wide Alarms Service.
I expected simple D-handles, but the second stair-rail (our stairs are enclosed rather than open bannister) is a combo of kinda twisty grab handle thingies and wooden rails. Likewise, kitchen to downstairs loo is a wrap-around rail. I'm well impressed. No more making like a chimp to get upstairs. Before I'd worked under the principle of walking upstairs was a process of falling over and avoiding falling backwards at all costs.
Now it's a doddle, and I can take my time.
The toilet fitted rail that helps me get on and off is shaped, and comfortable to use, but unlike the others, is plastic. I have a bit of a niggle whether it's going to be sturdy, but hey, I'll see how it goes.
Still waiting for a reply to the City Wide Alarms Service.
Monday, 14 April 2008
Cool :)
Nice surprise.
Having our property adapted. Nothing major. But darn useful
New shower fitted side-on, over the bath.
Removable, adjustable, bath seat.
A second Stair Rail
Rail access to downstairs toilet.
Rail access into downstairs toilet.
Rail access to the front door.
The nice surprise is that we only found by accident we could have this assessed and fitted for free - previous options were either expensive or needed a torturous assessment.
As it was, the assessment was quick, simple, and the lady from our Physical Disability and Sensory Impairment Service (UK) went out of her way to be helpful. I only had to demonstrate my amusing attempts to get in and out of the bath, 'walk' (I use the term loosely) upstairs, access and use the loo, and enter and exit the house.
All free.
I didn't ask for the check. We assumed, as it wasn't offered as a result of my otherwise excellent Stroke care, (and I admit, my very independent attitude) that it's something we had to provide for ourselves. But as part of a modernisation package (we live in a rented home) a terribly nice chap visited to asses our modernisation needs, who went away, and the next thing I know I was being being visited and bingo :)
Apparently, there's a security system available where you use a 'panic button' if you fall, and either your alone, or there's no-one available who's available to lift you. That costs, but I'm waiting for the info to arrive.
And the work will be done within two weeks. Magic :)
There are some interesting twists if you live in council accommodation, or own your own home.
But I'll comment on that at a later date.
Having our property adapted. Nothing major. But darn useful
New shower fitted side-on, over the bath.
Removable, adjustable, bath seat.
A second Stair Rail
Rail access to downstairs toilet.
Rail access into downstairs toilet.
Rail access to the front door.
The nice surprise is that we only found by accident we could have this assessed and fitted for free - previous options were either expensive or needed a torturous assessment.
As it was, the assessment was quick, simple, and the lady from our Physical Disability and Sensory Impairment Service (UK) went out of her way to be helpful. I only had to demonstrate my amusing attempts to get in and out of the bath, 'walk' (I use the term loosely) upstairs, access and use the loo, and enter and exit the house.
All free.
I didn't ask for the check. We assumed, as it wasn't offered as a result of my otherwise excellent Stroke care, (and I admit, my very independent attitude) that it's something we had to provide for ourselves. But as part of a modernisation package (we live in a rented home) a terribly nice chap visited to asses our modernisation needs, who went away, and the next thing I know I was being being visited and bingo :)
Apparently, there's a security system available where you use a 'panic button' if you fall, and either your alone, or there's no-one available who's available to lift you. That costs, but I'm waiting for the info to arrive.
And the work will be done within two weeks. Magic :)
There are some interesting twists if you live in council accommodation, or own your own home.
But I'll comment on that at a later date.
Tuesday, 8 April 2008
Love me for a reason......
I often have trouble making myself understood, and understanding others. Telephones really blow my mind - if you'll excuse the pun. Yet, oddly, I can type quite lucidly I think. (I can can't I?)
I can write too - though it looks quite childlike. I couldn't do 'joined up writing' any more if you paid me :)
The solution to the telephone problem was to splash the cash on a decent mobile a couple of years ago that could plug into my computer. Couple that with a pretty nifty little free program, and I'm able to text happily from my keyboard. The combination in my case was a Sony Erikson K750i and MyPhoneExplorer. This allows me to text, keep a to-do list, calendar, reminders alarms and notes, and even check if someone's mobile is on without disturbing them for the price of a text.
The important thing is that in what sometimes feels like a pretty chaotic and confusing internal life I can pull back some control to myself.
Don't know about you, I found having the old grey matter scrambled horribly confusing for a long time. I felt like a genie stuck in a bottle. When you have communication difficulties, you tend (on the whole) know what you want to say - but it doesn't come out anything like the way you want to say it, if at all. And I find often that I'm listening to someone, I hear what sounds like Japanese. Which is great, if you understand Japanese. I don't. People don't like being asked to repeat themselves, and often do so v-e-r-y l-o-u-d-l-y and slooooowly.
Annoying. Almost as annoying as caring and loving people, trying to be helpful, who finish off my sentences or try and tell people what they think I really mean - or (Grrrrr!) 'guess' what I'm going to say next. I call those 'anti-psychics', 'cause they're always wrong ;)
The problem is Joe Public tends to equate ability to communicate with intelligence. This genie in this particular bottle suspects his intelligence is largely intact. Well, it was last time I looked. I found my solution was to be a little more aggressive. The frustration helps.
It doesn't do your 'nice person' image any good, it certainly gets me called a "cranky old sod", but I found it catches people by surprise nicely and they have a bit more respect should they choose to speak to you again.
Their mission, should they choose to accept it......
The important thing is - and everything is important if you're a stroke survivor -to maintain independence as much as possible. You'll soon find out who your real friends are, and the bright amongst them will work out exactly what your up to. And those that care enough, who don't cotton on, will understand once you explain to them :)
Of course, you could just sit there, struggle, and sulk. But that's not for me.
I can write too - though it looks quite childlike. I couldn't do 'joined up writing' any more if you paid me :)
The solution to the telephone problem was to splash the cash on a decent mobile a couple of years ago that could plug into my computer. Couple that with a pretty nifty little free program, and I'm able to text happily from my keyboard. The combination in my case was a Sony Erikson K750i and MyPhoneExplorer. This allows me to text, keep a to-do list, calendar, reminders alarms and notes, and even check if someone's mobile is on without disturbing them for the price of a text.
The important thing is that in what sometimes feels like a pretty chaotic and confusing internal life I can pull back some control to myself.
Don't know about you, I found having the old grey matter scrambled horribly confusing for a long time. I felt like a genie stuck in a bottle. When you have communication difficulties, you tend (on the whole) know what you want to say - but it doesn't come out anything like the way you want to say it, if at all. And I find often that I'm listening to someone, I hear what sounds like Japanese. Which is great, if you understand Japanese. I don't. People don't like being asked to repeat themselves, and often do so v-e-r-y l-o-u-d-l-y and slooooowly.
Annoying. Almost as annoying as caring and loving people, trying to be helpful, who finish off my sentences or try and tell people what they think I really mean - or (Grrrrr!) 'guess' what I'm going to say next. I call those 'anti-psychics', 'cause they're always wrong ;)
The problem is Joe Public tends to equate ability to communicate with intelligence. This genie in this particular bottle suspects his intelligence is largely intact. Well, it was last time I looked. I found my solution was to be a little more aggressive. The frustration helps.
It doesn't do your 'nice person' image any good, it certainly gets me called a "cranky old sod", but I found it catches people by surprise nicely and they have a bit more respect should they choose to speak to you again.
Their mission, should they choose to accept it......
The important thing is - and everything is important if you're a stroke survivor -to maintain independence as much as possible. You'll soon find out who your real friends are, and the bright amongst them will work out exactly what your up to. And those that care enough, who don't cotton on, will understand once you explain to them :)
Of course, you could just sit there, struggle, and sulk. But that's not for me.
Tuesday, 1 April 2008
"I wanna be...."
"Your stroke survivor...."
As the song goes.
Got your copy of copy of Stroke News through yet? If not, why not? Nip onto the Stroke Association website (see sidebar) and get yours now.
It's, in my opinion, gone a bit downhill nowadays in some respects - less readers letters, a greater emphasis on promotion. But then again, it IS free, and drumming up support is what it's all about.
On the plus side, great articles, Lager - er... larger typeface, much easier to read, and more event adverts - had to chuckle at the one for "10K Military Run" One-half K Military Wobble followed by a 91/2 K stretcher in my case :) And in this Spring edition a great emphasis on Aphasia and depression, something both of which are grossly under recognised individually, and even rarely considered together.
I'm luckily enough not to suffer from depression, but I do have aphasia. To quote the writer Terry Pratchett, on discovering he had early onset Alzheimers, it's an "Embuggerance".
How does an Aphasic blogger blog? Very, very, slowly, and very carefully :)
Please note the new link on the sidebar to the Left Handers Club .
I was born in that generation where the left-hand was considered "The Devils Hand", and got a rap on the knuckles if I used it when I used it. After a right-sided stroke, it turned out they did me a favour. I'd always favoured my left in most cases. So adapting was easier.
However, getting hold of left handed scissors, or a tin opener, for instance, was an absolute pig. Until I found their shopping site.
Oh, on the tin-opener front, I found a NO hand tin opener The One Touch for £20 (about $36) from a local John Lewis. Marvellous :)
Watch those sharp edges though - and as I'm sure you're aware, some commercial carer organisations won't use anything other than ring-pull cans. Health and safety fears, apparently.
Wusses. But that's for another day...
Please feel free to share your experiences.
As the song goes.
Got your copy of copy of Stroke News through yet? If not, why not? Nip onto the Stroke Association website (see sidebar) and get yours now.
It's, in my opinion, gone a bit downhill nowadays in some respects - less readers letters, a greater emphasis on promotion. But then again, it IS free, and drumming up support is what it's all about.
On the plus side, great articles, Lager - er... larger typeface, much easier to read, and more event adverts - had to chuckle at the one for "10K Military Run" One-half K Military Wobble followed by a 91/2 K stretcher in my case :) And in this Spring edition a great emphasis on Aphasia and depression, something both of which are grossly under recognised individually, and even rarely considered together.
I'm luckily enough not to suffer from depression, but I do have aphasia. To quote the writer Terry Pratchett, on discovering he had early onset Alzheimers, it's an "Embuggerance".
How does an Aphasic blogger blog? Very, very, slowly, and very carefully :)
Please note the new link on the sidebar to the Left Handers Club .
I was born in that generation where the left-hand was considered "The Devils Hand", and got a rap on the knuckles if I used it when I used it. After a right-sided stroke, it turned out they did me a favour. I'd always favoured my left in most cases. So adapting was easier.
However, getting hold of left handed scissors, or a tin opener, for instance, was an absolute pig. Until I found their shopping site.
Oh, on the tin-opener front, I found a NO hand tin opener The One Touch for £20 (about $36) from a local John Lewis. Marvellous :)
Watch those sharp edges though - and as I'm sure you're aware, some commercial carer organisations won't use anything other than ring-pull cans. Health and safety fears, apparently.
Wusses. But that's for another day...
Please feel free to share your experiences.
Saturday, 8 March 2008
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