Well, there's a wotsit. What a dubrie thingy, Apparently I'm not allowed to travel to Malawi.

An automated phone call.

Its slightly warranted. In my twenties, I was a Courier Diplomatiqué. It would take me ages to explain, but I was a clerical dogsbody who's job was to ferry forms for ex-pats and holiday makers who needed help with health care to enable them to get support from the National Health Service.

Surprised? You shouldn't be. There are thousands of people who have access to the NHS, DLA and ESA who don't live in the UK.

I also ferried documents between various embassies across the north of Europe.

Malawi? Never going to happen. I'm a cold weather fella, Its kinda odd tho that after all these years I'm still on the list.