Bearisms

I marry the strangest women. I should know, I've done it twice.

Typical conversation in this household, no artistic licence taken whatsoever.

Me:- "I've found some Tixylix"
Boss :- "What? giver her a quid for some Tixylix?"
Me. "Does that sound like me?"
"You Wheels ? Heck No!"
"Well geeor then!"

or

Her. "Is that her getting up?"
Me "Stop that!"
"Stop what?"
"Asking me things I couldn't know"
pause..
"Well, is it?"
"Is What?"
"Her getting up?"
"(sigh..) Yes dear"

2 minutes later

"See, you were right, as usual"
"Oh, Good Grief Woman!!"

and

Conversation between Bear and youngest daughter.

"Where's your dad?"
"Sat there as usual, you Wally" said youngest daughter.
"(puzzled) Sat where?"
"THERE !! "
"Don't shout at me, and don't call me a Wally"
"I just did"
(pause)
"Where did he go?"
"He's still THERE"
"Errr....."
"You can't remember what you wanted him for, can you?"
"Errr....no.."
"See!"
"Um, where did you say he was?....
AAAARGH! DON'T CREEP ON ME LIKE THAT! TELL HIM NOT TO DO THAT!"

"Who do what? (grin! :)"


"You said it wasn't going to rain"
"I lied"
"That's just typical, that is."
"What is?"
"But it was nice this morning"
"Uhuh"
"But I've just this minute put the washing out :( "
"Heh, heh, heh!....."
"I suppose you think your funny, don't you? Get up. Stop laughing..."

Like I'm responsible for the weather.

Finally :)

Her. "Right, I'll log off Facebook"
Me. "Ok"
Her. "What time is it?"
Me. "2 o'clock"
Her. "But I've only been on since half past nine. What? stop staring at me like that, it's creepy. Are you alright?

Wouldn't swop her for the world. And yes, she does call me 'wheels' or 'wheelie'