Kerching.

Plonk. I'm sat at the keyboard, minding my own business.

Plonk. Another whatever-it-is hit the back of my head.

Now, as any experienced father will tell you, being a parent is an occupational hazard. After a few years of it, nothing surprises you, particularly when you have a mischievous 13 year old daughter.

PLONK. Hmm. That was heavier. I doggedly ignored it, until I heard the faintest hint of a giggle.

"Gee-or Tots" I muttered nonchalantly. That normally works with missy 'don't call me Tots I'm nearly 14 now y'know'

Kerplunk !!.

Ow, and I mean, Ow. I'm not going to look. It's a matter of pride. I'm not even going rub the sore spot on the back of my head, even though I'm getting a bit of a nervous twitch. "Onwards and upwards" I thought, glaring fixedly, teeth gritted, at the screen.

The giggle degenerated into a sound that I imagine a demented cat might make if it got it's head stuck in a bowl of snotty porridge, followed by some rather laboured gasping. No way was I going to give in.

THUD. I swung round "Why you little tw......"

Eh? Tots was on the couch, waving her legs in the air, writhing, red as beetroot, hand over her mouth, vainly trying her darnest not to laugh. The other arm was flopping like a fish, waving vaguely to the floor beside her.

Thump! A rather large, hard rubber ball hit me right, smack, between the eyes.

WOOF! That's when I noticed, through a vague haze, my Wheels and I were surrounded by dog biscuits, and a wild-eyed woofler was sitting head cocked to one side, tongue hanging out, panting.
WOOF! He dived, tail wagging, on a biscuit, picked it up in his jaws, and with a flick of his head, flung it at my forehead. To much hysterical merriment from the family.

Just for good measure, he repeated the trick with his ball at 100 mph into my lap. I'm not sure which hurt most...

I don't know who taught him that trick, and I don't care. I'm going contact the England Cricket Team, and next time they want to bring the Ashes home, Sigma, aka The Idiot Dog, is going with them.

For a fee, of course.