Bzzt.

My Bear says I never grew up.

'Tis true. The first app I dowloaded for my phone was the NASA one. I was the swotty kid with the star charts on the bedroom wall and who made The Eagle moon lander from balsa even before it reached the moon. Never, ever ask me anything about space travel. You will be able walk off, have a bacon buttie and a cuppa, come back and still find me talking with a happy smile....

Happiness was completing a miniature Watt engine from scratch, or being told off for holding a super-hot soldering iron in my teeth (not recommended!) surrounded by wires, paper clips, drawing pins, a dismantled remote control and the smell of burnt hair. See teeth.

This time, I've been told off because I came across a teeny little program that puts lots and lots of very realistic flies crawling all over her desktop on startup.

Well? How was I to know she'd scream, jump backwards, trip over the coffee table, go head over ass and land on the couch with a thump?

And the cat is just fine thank you, though I must admit I've never seen it shift so fast. It's true. They DO land feet first. I didn't ask it to land claws first on her chest tho' did I?

Despite what she says, I'm quite well aware of whom my parents are, and much of what she suggested I'll have to Google, but I'm quite certain it's physically impossible. There's probably a picture somewhere.

Oh, look, the same bloke does one with cockroaches.

That is So Cool!