Bummer!

I'm told I'm Tighter than a camel's arse in a sandstorm.

Personally, I would question the wisdom of anyone who would acquaint themselves with the nether regions
of a camel at any time, ne'er mind in a sandstorm. I can confirm however that the front end spits, bites, tries to eat your hair, and their breath smells pretty disgusting.

They sport a massive set of teeth, usually attached via a rope to equally obnoxious gentlemen, who say things like "You now pay more for Lady, or I make Big Boy run!".

Naturally, I respectfully declined.

Man, those things can shift. There was much screaming, bouncing, cursing and throwing up as camel and Lady disappear into the distance. Lady gave an impressive repeat performance in the office the following morning when I offered her a cushion.

No pleasing some people.

.................

Been doing a bit of bouncing myself.

Went for a wobble to a local shop with The Bear, and a rather inconsiderate wall jumped out and clobbered me. Wouldn't have minded so much if it hit the strokie side, which has less sensation. But nope, the inconsiderate pig took a swipe at the left dinnit. Wee-hoo, it hurt. 

I now sport a bruise the size of a plate a beautiful royal purple colour.  I really have to watch it with walls. Their like those things in Dr. Who that jump on you if you blink. As a result, I have one side that won't do as it's told, and the other arm in a sling. Marvelous. Not.

.................

The prospect of getting a Mobility Scooter is looking increasingly attractive. There have been a few obstructions to that so far.

One is, my experience of them is often being clipped on the back of the heel by out of control little old ladies.   I don't get out that often, and I've harboured a sneaking suspicion that they lurk, waiting for me.

Another biggie is cost. They start at upwards of £1500. I would need it adapting so any throttle would be on  the left, which costs extra.

However, I may have found a solution. A tip from a Strokie friend (Ta Lyn!) led me to checking local forums, as it seems that people change them every couple of years for a more modern model. A quick look showed a two year old model goes for £250-£300.

The downside is they come without guarantee. The upside is I won't have to worry about voiding a guarantee! So, since I'm a bit of a wiz with things electronic, I can adapt it as much as I like myself.

Then I can go play bumper cars with lethal little old ladies, once I raise the funds. Besides, since The Bear and neighbours don't like me going out alone, it will quite amusing to have her jogging alongside......

.................

One final thought, about this 'out alone' bit. It's something they are going to have to accept at some point that whatever their worries, it's important that I'm free to do it.

To that end, I've pointed out that I have Google Maps and Navigation on my mobile. I've setup a shortcut on the  home screen set to our address. One tap, wherever I am, and voila! I have a route home. Secondly, I've downloaded an App called ICE (In Case of Emergency) and set it on my my lock-screen to open with some emergency numbers and emergency instructions.

Good eh?