Love me for a reason......

I often have trouble making myself understood, and understanding others. Telephones really blow my mind - if you'll excuse the pun. Yet, oddly, I can type quite lucidly I think. (I can can't I?)

I can write too - though it looks quite childlike. I couldn't do 'joined up writing' any more if you paid me :)

The solution to the telephone problem was to splash the cash on a decent mobile a couple of years ago that could plug into my computer. Couple that with a pretty nifty little free program, and I'm able to text happily from my keyboard. The combination in my case was a Sony Erikson K750i and MyPhoneExplorer. This allows me to text, keep a to-do list, calendar, reminders alarms and notes, and even check if someone's mobile is on without disturbing them for the price of a text.

The important thing is that in what sometimes feels like a pretty chaotic and confusing internal life I can pull back some control to myself.

Don't know about you, I found having the old grey matter scrambled horribly confusing for a long time. I felt like a genie stuck in a bottle. When you have communication difficulties, you tend (on the whole) know what you want to say - but it doesn't come out anything like the way you want to say it, if at all. And I find often that I'm listening to someone, I hear what sounds like Japanese. Which is great, if you understand Japanese. I don't. People don't like being asked to repeat themselves, and often do so v-e-r-y l-o-u-d-l-y and slooooowly.

Annoying. Almost as annoying as caring and loving people, trying to be helpful, who finish off my sentences or try and tell people what they think I really mean - or (Grrrrr!) 'guess' what I'm going to say next. I call those 'anti-psychics', 'cause they're always wrong ;)

The problem is Joe Public tends to equate ability to communicate with intelligence. This genie in this particular bottle suspects his intelligence is largely intact. Well, it was last time I looked. I found my solution was to be a little more aggressive. The frustration helps.

It doesn't do your 'nice person' image any good, it certainly gets me called a "cranky old sod", but I found it catches people by surprise nicely and they have a bit more respect should they choose to speak to you again.

Their mission, should they choose to accept it......

The important thing is - and everything is important if you're a stroke survivor -to maintain independence as much as possible. You'll soon find out who your real friends are, and the bright amongst them will work out exactly what your up to. And those that care enough, who don't cotton on, will understand once you explain to them :)

Of course, you could just sit there, struggle, and sulk. But that's not for me.