Grumpy warning

Mobile (cell) phones - I hate 'em. Got one tho'.

Does anyone know ANYONE over the age of fourteen who can text with one hand? Anyone over that age who can understand txt spk plz? I know I can't. Note - stroke survivor?

How about text 'receipts' - whats all that about ? You end up in those really gormless phone conversations 5 minutes after you receive a text... Mobile rings. So I have to wobble from my Wheels across the living room to the mantle. Posh translation, across the lounge to the hearth.

"Why didn't you reply to my text?"
Me:- "Eh?"
"I know you got it"
Me:- "Uhuh?"
"I had my 'receipts' turned on....."
Me:- "Your phoning because?"
"You didn't reply and my 'receipt' said you got it. You could have least have texted OK "

Blimey, talk about illogical, captain. Didn't reply because I didn't want to. So there. And like heck was I going to pay 12 pence to say 'ok'. Insecurity rules k.o.

I'm pay as I go. For some odd reason known as pay as you go. No it isn't. I pay if I phone.

What are these Special Offers texts I keep getting from my provider? Every Friday I get a text.

"If you pay another £5/£10" it claims, "you can have free texts for the weekend"

Really? Lets do the maths here. My mobile provider charges me 12 pence per text. Thats 41.6 texts for £5 over two days. Thats 'free'? Why would I wanna text 41 times anyway - and (aha!) what happens to that 0.6 texts? . Tain't Free, is it. Pah.

And, finally. Do you ever get calls on your mobile like "Where are you?" Duh. My standard answer is "How did you know I was here......?"

___________________

At long last, I've retired from from ghost-writing sermons.

Don't look so surprised at the thought that a sermon might be ghost-written.

Churches run by committee, much like politics. It's been a long time since any religion had truly independent preachers, and those preachers that are truly independent have such a heavy case load they sometimes sub-contract.

I'm talking Christian preachers/leaders here, of various denominations. As time has gone on, I've found keeping track of the various internal politics, doctrines and practices (not to be confused with, but similar to secular politics) such hard work I've decided I've had enough. It increasingly became irrelevant to me, and it's the sort of writing that if you can't inject some passion into, you shouldn't be doing it, even if your writing is negotiated. So, for me, it's the end of an era. I'm sad to let it go.

I would, even if you have no religious convictions, urge that you respect those church workers that do. Ninety-nine percent of the work they do is unsung, unrewarded, and often at the expense of their health, their home life and their freedom, and get this - even so far as their churches know. They are societies unsung hero's. Bless 'em.