Mmmm Burgers....

Bit of a wag my doctor. He'd given me a grilling about my eating habits, y'know the routine How, What, When.

Answer, I'm not a big eater, sometimes I go a couple of days without because I never feel hungry, often have my food cut up for me, don't eat unsupervised because I sometimes have trouble swallowing, and I cook all my food so I know what's in it, like the occasional beer, and even use a special china cup with corners so I don't dribble - and I'm way, way past being embarrassed about it :)

Doc listened intently, jotting down some notes, stared at my waistline intently for a few moments, and said........

"Ah!" perfectly straight faced. "What we have here is a classic case of Bulimic Dementia."

That got me. Never heard of that one. So I raised an eyebrow, and looked suitably unimpressed.

"You look like you wolf it down, and then forget you've eaten it....."

Oh, very droll.

To get my revenge, I'm going to pig out in a couple of hours on some real Man Food.

~~~~~~~

2 Home made Quarter Pounder Chilli Burgers with (sorta) Bannock Bread.

Unit Conversion Here

The Burgers.

Half a pound of minced steak
1 large Red Chilli Pepper, de-seeded, chopped very finely.
1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce.
Finely chopped red onion.
1 or 2 cloves of Garlic, finely chopped.
1 handful of finely chopped Corriander - I use fresh, but 1/2 tsp of dried will do
1 handful of finally chopped Basil (honest, it's so easy to grow on a windowsill)
1 tablespoon of lemon juice.
1 tablespoon of Hendersons relish.
Yolk of one fresh, free range egg. (First, catch your chicken...)

Mix the lot together, thoroughly, otherwise you'll end up with 'Chilli Bon Surprisé.
Put it in the fridge for at least a couple of hours for the flavours to blend.

The Bread. I prefer this for burgers to the soft white stuff from the supermarket.

Bannock bread - my variation.

4 oz oatmeal - I used rolled oats.
4 oz plain white flour.
1/2 teaspoon sea salt.
1/2 teaspoon baking powder.
A good 2 tablespoons of whatever fat you have available - I use butter.
4 (provisionally) tablespoons of water.

Cooking the burgers. Divide into 2. Form into 'patties'.

I'm sure these would barbecue well, if that's your thing. I prefer a preheated oven, gas mark 5 or 6 for about 20-25 mins.

While they're cooking, mix together the dry ingredients for the bread.
Heat up the water in a pan, add the fat, and allow it to melt.
Put the kettle on.
While you're waiting for the kettle, mix the water/fat mix into the dry ingredients.
Now the awkward bit. Add a little boiling water a little a time until the batter is quite thick - think, umm, twice as thick as yorkshire pudding batter. The oats take a while to absorb the water, which is why I cheat and use rolled oatmeal. :)

Set aside for a few mins, while you heat up a lightly oiled frying pan, skilitt, or griddle on the cooker.

Pour a ladleful into your heated griddle. I find 1 1/2 - 2 mins either side works for me. Cool. No, seriously, allow to cool :)

You may find you have some bread mix left - it keeps in the fridge for a couple of days quite well.

By this time the burgers should be done. I like a home made relish or chutney as a topping, but if you want to tease yourself and feel guilty - by all means add s-s-s-salad...