Mind you, I'll get The Bear chewing my ear. "Dray, watch your feet. Dray, mind that, Dray, the bench is there, stop and rest, yer wobblin', Dray......" Bear? "What?" Nothing sweetheart. Ceinture jusqu'à . I'm more worried my trousers will fall down.
That'll keep the Sun's Benefit Cheat Reportline busy. Walking. Not the trousers. Gosh, how dare I move? Apparently, the Sun is Britain's biggest selling newspaper with estimated sales of 2 to 3 million. Hmm. By my reckoning that's about 78 million to go.
Thinking of daft stats, I've read in various papers that there is a 14% risk of early death if you eat red meat. Uhu. I can confidently predict that everyone has a 100% risk of death. No one dies early. You just go and do it. I know, I've been there a few times, and spent a lot of time with people who managed to do it while I was chatting to them.
But just for once, wouldn't it be nice if a headline said "Good News !! You have an 86% chance of living longer if you eat anything" Not going to happen soon, is it? Maybe because the dear departed don't pay taxes or buy newspapers. Or am I just getting cynical in my old age?