Respect to the Bear

Carers are very much unappreciated.


I'm a lucky Stroke Survivor in that my intellect, on the whole, hasn't been affected. Some dips in that direction - for instance, I could, given the time, read a book in a couple of hours. Now - nah. I just can't concentrate more than a couple of chapters. Anything, and I mean anything, slightly convoluted just annoys me. My perceptions of everything are a bit off, but I'm aware of it. Later. I believe I'm called 'eccentric' :)


Bear helps me in the shower, hovers outside the toilet door (we have two, but yes, she could help me in there, but I wasn't having it) Helps me walk. 


Walking. I have wheelchair, but I can't operate it independently. Mainly because we are surrounded by very steep hills. Bear had to be almost horizontal to push. I have a crutch and and a walking stick, but they're meant to support a leg. But if the arm on the side of the leg doesn't work well either, (try it!  :)  ) a Bear to lean on comes in very handy.


She cleans, she's the washing machine goddess, does my tablets for me once a week in advance correctly - I can't in case of mistakes  (155 tabs a week), and does most trips to the shops and supermarket alone. On top of that she's battling to get our granddaughter and daughter in law from across the Atlantic (fat chance), and insists on keeping an eye on the kids that have left home too. 


She cuts up my food, likes to stick around when I eat, does anything that means bending down. I can bed down, but bent over double with your arse in the air is quite undignified. So I need help getting back up again. 


But lately, I've made a real push for independence. Problem is, Bear isn't used to that. I don't go out alone. She's got used to being out and about and independent (I don't even know my card security numbers)


So what other people take for granted, like having cash in their wallet, fetching a newspaper or buying themselves a coffee, clothes, an all-day breakfast, meeting friends or relatives for a coffee, I feel imprisoned because I can't do it alone. 


Nothings changed. It's just that Bear was used to a lot of independence once I'm dealt with, and I want to do what I used to do. But that means Bear being even more more available. See the conflict and the financial impact?


Respect and Love to The Bear. She's got a tough time ahead.