Beardy, Boar, and Ho

The Beard is coming along fine. I had been worried I had left it a little late this year.

The Beard? I've only a couple of days without it since I was old enough to grow one. When one of my brothers called and asked me, quite seriously, whether I was in, and The Bear kept looking at me sideways and shaking her head, back it came.

Usually, it's a neatly trimmed goatee and moustache. Despite popular misconceptions, beards are high maintenance. Around here, if I had it shaped by a barber it would cost me £18 a time because they can be really fiddly to shape. I'd have to have it done every couple of days max too.

But normally, come the end of August, I go full face - like that profile pic up there, but more. You'd perhaps imagine that would be easier? Oh no. I have to stop the darn thing crawling up to my eyebrows and down my chest.

Why bother? Ye small gods gifted me a pure snow white beard, and I don't want to frighten the good boys and girls. (Not that the Elf and Equality bods would let me exclude anyone) It's that time of year isn't it? Time to get the elves into gear, dig out my favourite wide black belt,  Red Suit and stardust,  I love it.

Not ready for a photo yet. But as every year, I'm impressed at the growth rate. Hmmm. Now then, this waistline......

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I've bartered three pigs heads, that I'll turn into brawn. In a nutshell, a head will be halved and boiled with herbs, spices and peppercorns. Salt will be added later, as adding salt in cooking will toughen the meat. Any meat left on the bone (well, skull) is picked off into a bowl.

The fluid in the pan is filtered through a clean cloth onto the meat.Not a cloth that's been through a washing machine. Modern washing powders are full of conditioners and smelly stuff you don't want in food.

I found it helps to put the fluid into a pan and simmer it until it's very reduced. Plonk the lot in a bowl and put a saucer on top and something heavy, leave in a cool place overnight.

You'll have to experiment with any herbs and spices to get the flavour you want, which can be done at the reducing stage. You'll be left with a meaty, jellyfied chunk of meaty goodness that can be sliced.

Am I the only one in the universe who remembers 'ai'penny duck' ? (half penny duck)

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Historical note.

That fluid, much reduced is gelatin. You'll find in posh restaurants, that's what you are getting. If cooked without salt, herbs and spices, but with added fruit and sugar, you have a classic Jelly. It's great with stale homemade bread and fruit for a 'summer pudding'.