Dad, have y'got.....

My lad, in his twenties, and his girlfriend are off the Disney Land Florida in a month. It's costing them over £900 each. It was the Dominican Republic last year. Good for them - you're only young once. However....

She's pointed out to him, since he pays his board monthly, that he really shouldn't pay anything towards his keep for the two weeks their away. She's also complaining he isn't saving fast enough to raise the £1000 'pocket' money their taking each.

Hmmm. Interesting logic.

My lad's on a reasonable wage. After paying his board, he's left with about £750 per month pocket money. She's a student on a student grant. Lives with her parents. They don't ask their young people to contribute. Don't need the money, apparently. She and her brother have cars, and their parents contribute towards the running costs.

My lad tells me they have discussed getting a place together, but they can't afford it.

Ahuh. I'll bet.

I was refilling the fridge the other day, thinking how magical it must all seem. The home cooked Tikka wraps and chocolate and crisps that appear ready for work in the morning. The fridge that refills itself. How those clothes magically disappear from the bedroom floor, and reappear, fresh, folded and pressed in the drawer. A bed that makes itself, and the plates, dishes and cups that disappear from the lads bedroom, and sit gleaming in the pot rack. And meals on the table when he gets home tired from work. As for the toilet roll holder... shazzam!

I was reading a survey that said something like 82% of 20 - 34 year old's are staying with parents because they just can't afford to live anywhere else. Mortgages are hard to come by, rents are high. Food and fuel prices creep up. We worked out that though we used 25% less gas and electricity than the same time last year, we are paying at least 25% more.

But there's more to it than cost. There's responsibility. Responsibility for your family, your home, yourself. I left home quite young, and dropped myself into it headfirst. My Bear left home to live with me, and learned from and with me. Then came the kids. Only, two of them aren't 'kids' any longer. And I charge them board - a fixed percentage of any income. When they've been unemployed, they've paid nothing.

I'd be daft to say the money doesn't come in handy. 'Course it does. It's absolutly peanuts though compared to the amount they'd have to dish out if they had their own places. I had considered, like my lads girlfriend's parents, not asking for anything. The world wouldn't have stopped.

There'd be food on the table, clean clothes, and a magic fridge freezer, as there has been for 20-odd years, because we love our kids, and once you get into the habit of being a parent it's hard to stop. But I decided by at least charging a small amount of 'board' I've be giving them a foretaste of what the real worlds like. You have to pay your way. If you don't pay for it, you don't get it - it's hardley rocket science. If you don't wash up, pots stop in the sink until you do. Unwashed, unironed clothes crease and stink. Unmade beds and unhoovered carpets stop that way. Unless you can afford to pay someone to do it for you.

And if your off to Florida, you can't say to the landlord or the mortgage company, water rates, council tax, gas and electricity company "I'm off to stop in a posh hotel in the sunshine for a couple of weeks, so I'm deducting the cost of all that from what I pay you, seeing as I won't be using the place, ok?"

Or there might not be a lot to come back to :)