Grub.

Bear pulled a face. "Dray, we've got nowt in".

Phew, that was close. If She Who Must Be Obeyed calls me Wheelie, I know I'm on level green. She's trying to annoy me a little.

If she calls me Dray (as in, large cart behind a brewery horse) then she's half way towards using my christian name, so I'm on amber, proceed with caution.

Christian name? Red. Abandon ship, head for the hills.

I decided it was safe to venture a hopeful "Yes dear? Nowt in dear?" - and catching that brief flicker of expression that only my beloved can pull, that in the past would would have got me points on my licence when I was allowed my motorbike, I braked, and shut up.

When Bear says "we have nothing in", she means we're out of ready-mades. The alternatives, left to her own devices, are usually variations of Spag Bol. No Spag, plenty of Bol. Spag Bol between Pasta sheets? Lasagne. Spag Bol on (home made) bread, soaked in olive oil and wizzy wigged home-grown garlic? Spag Bol Pizza.

Spag Bol with a crust, and if she's really going for it, cheesy pastry? I dunno. Spag Bol with 'Dad didn't make this spaghetti did he?' Ah, now thats, well, ummm.....

So after determining that my lot are truly sick and tired of you-know-what, and lots of Yes Dears, No Dears and trying desperately to shake-or-nod my head in the right places, I came up with a variation of a quick and easy Mrs Beeston recipe she could do.

I've always got a batch of home made (Wheelie Made) shortcrust pastry tucked away in the freezer. Don't need to post how how to do that do I? I use half-fat to flour, and freeze half. Once it's defrosted, you can knead in the seasoning and some herbs. For fat I always use unsalted butter.

Melt some - you guessed it - butter in a pan with a spoonful of olive oil. Any oil is fine. Sunflower is fine, and walnut, sesame are tasty and handy to have around. But the aim is to stop the butter burning.

This is going into the oven, so the amounts depend on how big your dish is :)

Drop some chopped potatoes into boiling water for 5-6 mins. While you do, drop a couple of cloves of chopped Garlic, a chopped leek or two, and a rather large chopped onion into the butter-oil. Keep the lid on for five mins, take the lid off, and fry gently for another 5 or so until the leek, onion and garlic are soft, but not browned.

By the way, s*d Jamie Oliver, use as much of the Leek as you want. It's just that the dark green bits take longer to cook.

Now, don't tell my lot, but I add 1/2 teaspoon of Coriander powder and 1/2 teaspoon Mustard powder. I've even cheated and put in a crumbled Veg. Oxo cube instead. Experiment.

Put the oven on Gas mark 5 to preheat. Conversions Here

Potatoes should be done by now. Drain, add to the Leeks, and add enough milk until it's about 3/4 way up the mix, add a pinch of salt and pepper, stir, put on a low heat until it just starts to to rise. No Lid. Stir again. The trick is to let a skin form on top, then stir the skin in. And again until your knackered and/or happy. That technique works with soups and stews too.

When you're happy, pour it into your oven dish. If you'd like it to be thicker, either mix a little cornflour or mashed potato, or maybe a handful of grated cheese.

Leave it for 10 mins. Bring it out, cover with your pastry. Feel free to glaze it with beaten egg yolk.

Tip. If the level of ingredients is likely to make your pastry sink in the middle, try putting an egg cup in the middle, or two, one on top of the other to hold it up. Err... as long as they aren't plastic :)

Cook for. I dunno. 25 mins? Good luck.


edit :-

1) Not to be confused with a Drey. That's a squirrels nest.