Winter Fuel Allowance.

"D'ynow" sighed The Bear "If anyone else says bet that 'Winter Fuel Allowance' will come in handy getting near Christmas' I'm gonna thump 'em".

She will too. Not backward in being forward, is my Bear.

It's a yearly ritual. Someone just has to say it.

I know I'm almost a decade older than Bear, and unlike her, there's snow on the roof and holding my nose and bottom lip up. I can still laugh when some wag cold-calls and asks her "Is your dad in?". My Totsies favourite joke "Shit by the fire grandad, and 'ave shum shoop" - A quote from Terry Pratchett's character Cohen The Barbarian in 'The Light Fantastic', still raises a chuckle.

Indeed, my waist may well be trying to expand to fit my trainer-pants (darn it!) I may spend a lot of time covered in plasters in places I doubt even my mother remembers, and say "Hello floor!" so often Floor and I are thinking of getting engaged - even when I'm sober. Even.

Sure I know I dribble. It's that picture of Dannii Minogue in the hallway. And I DO remember who Roger Whittaker is. It's that bloke who lives two doors down. See? It's certainly true I've reached that age when sex is something where I wake up thinking "Eh, what WAS that?, Hello?".

But, Ladies and Gentlemen, I'm the chap who got an apology from Sun Life Over Fifties for sending junk mail.

But seriously, Winter Fuel Allowance is for those who were born on or before 5th July 1950.

Click on the red lettering to learn more :)

Gotta go. Aged father-in-law, who is famous for his hatred of trees, is in a bulldozing mood. He's trying to convince Bear that a willow in my front garden is damaging a gate, despite the gate being hinged away from the tree. "Summat in t'tree affecting gate". I planted that bloody tree. Ta. Thinking of chaining myself to it in protest.

My tiny pink ass it is......

You'd think some people would realise I get a bit iffy about being steam-rollered about anything. By anyone.

Catchya laters :)