Whoop :)

That Darn Cat

I'm done so many pickles, I'm pickled out. I've had so many requests for for home-mades, like Christmas cake and Piccalilli and Sweet Chilli, I'm having trouble coping with the demand. I'm even getting 'can I have some now and some more for Christmas day please?"

Gotta admit - grumble as I might, I love it. Christmas songs on my MP3, sat on a stool in the kitchen, winter blasts (it +3 C here) blowing through the kitchen window, stirring in the spices. A promise of snow soon. And I woke up to a Christmas card from little Bear under my pillow. How cool is that?

Grumpy warning :)

Sorta.

Oh, bliss. Some readers may know I run, or have run, other blogs, different themes. All of 'em moderated. I/we got a bit fed up of religious nuts and 'free speachers'. It got to the point where I was spending more time moderating their comments than blogging - so a blog or two had to go.

Should explain I was an unpaid super-social worker for many years - otherwise known as a church leader. Then I got stroked. To put the term 'religious nut' in context - it's those that read the text that guides them, and they apply it to everyone else without thought, compassion and intelligence.

'Free Speachers' are those that see nothing before them but a keyboard and monitor. They throw away the rules of social interaction, and express themselves in ways in which would make the mildest mannered punch them in the nose if they got out and met people. Usually mixed up with some pseudo intellectualism quoting Gandhi, Churchill or Mandella. Unfortunately the net is full of 'em.

Am I god on my blog? Yes, I like to think so. Have to admit that Mandella puzzles me. The pamphlet he wrote 'how to be a good communist' was no great shakes. But maybe that's just me. Figureheads do.

Bliss? Not getting rubbish now :)

Goin' Overboard... :)

That time of year again (again)

Love the build up to Christmas. As I've probably said before. So everyone is banned from the kitchen except for cuppa's while I do my Christmas cakes, piccalilli's (4 different types) , chutneys, cakes, puds, cheeses, yoghurt's, pies. If they want to eat, they have to get past me first :)

This year, the pressure is on because I thought it more prudent to give my goodies as Christmas presents. Not that it's a cost cutting exercise, it's actually more expensive because it's customised. Lots of fun is letting people come up and taste and tell me how they like it. I don't taste it myself - I go on the opinion of the recipient, and anyone else gets lucky dip.

It's exhausting, but I love it.

This Years Favourite Gifts

1) Wheelie Sweet & Spicy Chilli Sauce. Use sparingly.

2) Chunky Piccalilli, Wheelie Style.

3) O by 'eck Brandy personal Christmas cake.

Cheese sticks, Wheelie style.

Pre-heat the oven to gas mark 5. I think thats about 210 C/392 F

Unless you're a masochist, you'll buy shop bought frozen, uncooked puff, filo or flakey pastry. If you are - good 'on you :)

I won't bother with amounts - Just go for it. Roll out your pastry of choice quite thinly. I like it quite thin, a couple of mils. It thickens up while cooking.

Quite what you do next is up to you. I use very thinly sliced Prosciutto laid across half of the width, with lots of grated Grana Padano. Don't plead poverty, a little goes a long way. Strong cheddar and smoky bacon is just fine. I like to sprinkle a few fresh herbs over, but dried is cool.

Fold the other half over. Roll thin again. If you've used thin bacon, you might want to fold and roll again and get it as thin as you can. Cut into strips - half inch, or about 1.5 cm. How long it is is up to you.

Pick up each strip, and twist. If it shows signs of breaking, twist gently until the pastry breaks show signs that the cracks close, push the ends gently together, and rub the cracks with a little beaten egg or water.

If you have mixed seeds, or sesame, press into a tray of them. Otherwise, just brush with beaten egg and cook for about 16 mins or golden.

Hope this helps.

Had a couple of influenza injections - the yearly 'normal batch 'flu jab, and the dreaded H1N1 - one in either arm :)

Oddly, my Bear, who because she just happens to be married to me, has had the normal one, but not the H1N1. Apparently, their very strict who they give it to.

How did it go? Well I'd heard a few stories that the H1N1 had been an unpleasant experience for some people, but a little close questioning (I'm good at that) unravelled that most of the neigh-sayers refuse inoculations anyway.

There's a mistaken belief that an inoculation is that you "get a little to save a lot". Probably based on the historic beginnings some 300 years ago when indeed, tiny amounts of live virus where used on unsuspecting victims. Who had a minor version of a similar or same illness, and survived where they wouldn't have before.

Time has moved on. A lot.

The body produces antibodies to viri. You probably catch one virus or another often. Antibodies are produced to fit that virus, and destroy it.

A virus consists of little more than a protein coat containing a little DNA. It, if you like, burrows into human cells, and uses some of the DNA in there to reproduce itself by the million. Time, after time. This damages the cell, and either kills it or screws it up silly. This is why people who have underlying health problems are most at risk.

Your body just doesn't sit there and take it. It produces designer antibodies that fight back, scraps to repair the damage, and uses lots of other devices to defeat the invader, like increasing those antibodies tremendously, raising you temperature, throwing all sorts of other defences against it. That's what 'unwell' is. Fighting the good fight. Most of the time, you won't even know you're under attack.

It would be just plain STUPID to inject live viri, ne'er mind illegal, into vulnerable people. It's called murder nowadays.

I'll not get into here how it works. But antibodies have a very basic purpose, and that is to recognise that protein coat I mentioned, and destroy it. No protein, dead 'flu.

The companies who produce a vaccine multiply the virus, kill the DNA, while maintaining the bits that antibodies recognise. That is stored in a preservative solution that keeps the contents fresh.

So why do some people feel unwell for a couple of days after injections? A tiny percentage don't get on with the preservative. Another tiny percentage have already caught H1Ni or another of the four or five variations of flu before injection. Often, it's just a good old fashioned cold. Has to be said that some people react badly to being a bit 'off colour' anyway (man flu?)

But the main reason is that The Body has a host of other defences that it throws at anything it perceives, rather unintelligently, as a thread, a lot that that can make a person feel unwell for a couple of days. And again, it's all down to a persons personal reaction to feeling off-colour.

How did it affect me? Well, they injected me in my right arm with 'normal multi-flu'. I don't have much feeling there anyways. The left was H1N1. That's been sore for 48 hours, slacking off gradually. I was shattered for 48, but I'm not used to going out much anyways. Slept for 8 hours, and I'm a 4 hours a night fella normally. Bear says I was hot and restless.

Wish I'd suggested the the right arm for H1N1:)

Guess it's no secret I like to cook. Or that I like the odd (very odd, strong, occasional ) lager either. Since I can't get out much -which is bloomin' annoying, cooking is my real vice. Though not eating, funnily enough. The combination of cooking and and a can? - inspiration, thats what :)

If you're an occasional reader, you'll know that I have a fascination with seasonal pickles, and Autumn/Winter/Christmas is my favourite time of year. Wheelie Weather. Seriously.

I've been inundated with requests for my Piccalilli this year as Christmas presents. It goes as 'Wheelielilly' I'm not sure I can keep up with demand.

Here's the odd thing. Some like the sauce bit. Others like it with the veg. Some ask me to 'wizzywig' it a bit to keep any chunks tiny.

I do various chutneys too, but I'm not going to give those recipes away :)

Piccalilli is so easy to make yourself - the basic recipe is below, but I have my little exra's. Warning. It pongs when you cook it - open a window, and leave it in a cool dark place for um, at least a month :)

700ml Malt vinegar. GOT to be malt.
2 tbsp Coriander seeds/1 tbsp ground (supermarket) Coriander, or if your lucky, 4 tbsp fresh.
500g Cauliflower, broken into 3cm florets
2 Onions, peeled and chopped.

Cheat here. Sure, add the onions as above. You might like also add silver skin onions bought from the supermarket. A little of the fluid from the jar added to the final recipe will cool as a preservative.

3 tbsp English mustard powder - though 2 tbsp ground mustard seed is better for texture.
3 tbsp Plain flour
1 tbsp Turmeric
2 tsp Ground ginger - Ah, go with your instinct on this. Try 3/4 inch of grated fresh instead . Hard work tho'
150ml Cider vinegar (ooh yes - white wine vinegar is good too)
100 grams/4 oz anything you want. Traditionally, french beans. Try 4 oz of mixed red and yellow peppers
½ Cucumber, quartered lengthways and cut into 1cm slices. Personally, I prefer gherkins.
2 Garlic cloves, mashed. beat the heck out of them. But don't skip it.
200g Granulated or muscavada sugar
Method

1. Place the malt vinegar and coriander seeds in a large preserving pan and bring to a boil. Add the cauliflower and onion and simmer for 5 minutes until slightly softened but still crunchy. Meanwhile, put the mustard, flour, turmeric and ginger in a small bowl and gradually whisk in the cider vinegar until smooth. Add the remaining vegetables, garlic and sugar to the pan and stir over the heat for 2–3 minutes until the sugar has dissolved. Drain over a large bowl to collect the vinegar.

2. Put the mustard mixture in the pan and bring to the boil. Gradually add the drained malt vinegar and simmer for 10 minutes, until thick enough to coat the back of the spoon. Add the drained vegetables and take off the heat. Spoon into sterilised jars – if they’re not kilner jars, cover them with plastic discs and elastic bands rather than metal lids, which can sometimes react with the vinegar.

Stick it in a cupboard for a month - eat with home made bread - no compromise.

Grumpy warning

Mobile (cell) phones - I hate 'em. Got one tho'.

Does anyone know ANYONE over the age of fourteen who can text with one hand? Anyone over that age who can understand txt spk plz? I know I can't. Note - stroke survivor?

How about text 'receipts' - whats all that about ? You end up in those really gormless phone conversations 5 minutes after you receive a text... Mobile rings. So I have to wobble from my Wheels across the living room to the mantle. Posh translation, across the lounge to the hearth.

"Why didn't you reply to my text?"
Me:- "Eh?"
"I know you got it"
Me:- "Uhuh?"
"I had my 'receipts' turned on....."
Me:- "Your phoning because?"
"You didn't reply and my 'receipt' said you got it. You could have least have texted OK "

Blimey, talk about illogical, captain. Didn't reply because I didn't want to. So there. And like heck was I going to pay 12 pence to say 'ok'. Insecurity rules k.o.

I'm pay as I go. For some odd reason known as pay as you go. No it isn't. I pay if I phone.

What are these Special Offers texts I keep getting from my provider? Every Friday I get a text.

"If you pay another £5/£10" it claims, "you can have free texts for the weekend"

Really? Lets do the maths here. My mobile provider charges me 12 pence per text. Thats 41.6 texts for £5 over two days. Thats 'free'? Why would I wanna text 41 times anyway - and (aha!) what happens to that 0.6 texts? . Tain't Free, is it. Pah.

And, finally. Do you ever get calls on your mobile like "Where are you?" Duh. My standard answer is "How did you know I was here......?"

___________________

At long last, I've retired from from ghost-writing sermons.

Don't look so surprised at the thought that a sermon might be ghost-written.

Churches run by committee, much like politics. It's been a long time since any religion had truly independent preachers, and those preachers that are truly independent have such a heavy case load they sometimes sub-contract.

I'm talking Christian preachers/leaders here, of various denominations. As time has gone on, I've found keeping track of the various internal politics, doctrines and practices (not to be confused with, but similar to secular politics) such hard work I've decided I've had enough. It increasingly became irrelevant to me, and it's the sort of writing that if you can't inject some passion into, you shouldn't be doing it, even if your writing is negotiated. So, for me, it's the end of an era. I'm sad to let it go.

I would, even if you have no religious convictions, urge that you respect those church workers that do. Ninety-nine percent of the work they do is unsung, unrewarded, and often at the expense of their health, their home life and their freedom, and get this - even so far as their churches know. They are societies unsung hero's. Bless 'em.

Ooch !

Say Hi to Daz the Man on my followers. I like Daz. What you see is what you get, and I like Daz because of. Which is crap grammar, but what the heck. Please visit his blog and encourage him to blog more often - he lives in interesting times. And can that guy sing. Heckuva voice. Advert over :)

Today somebody brassed me off. But hey, nothing happens to those that don't do anything.

Which is even worse grammar :)

_________________

Had to scrub a blog I'd run for some years because some peeps complained that by using moderation I was restricting their freedom of speech. Basically they were pushing their own religious agenda.

I'm an easy going, chilled out kinda chap, and pretty open to much. But when I find myself spending more than hour a day every day moderating comments from a combination of pro-faith, anti-faith, and so-called free-speechers (they wanna do what they wanna do but jump on anyone who doesn't do what THEY wanna do) ie. neither side wanted to accept moderation.

I thought, well blow this. More useful things to do with my time ;) I am, indeed, as someone commented, "a god in my own little world". No platform, no problem. Simple. It's enough to make you twitter..........

_________________

Errr....

Hope everyone realises the last post was tongue-in-cheek.... (cheesy grin!)

You won't find that I post much about politics here, but the present row in the press about cannabis has irritated the heck.

A quick summery. The UK govs chief advisor has been asked to resign, because he said that 'ecstasy', cannabis and LSD are less harmful than alcohol or cigarettes. Mr David Nutt wanted a classification by harm approach to substance abuse - fair enough.

But, and quite rightly, the chap is a scientist, and a good one. So he deals with the evidence he discovers and gets hold of and analysis in a sterile environment. So the evidence that leads to his conclusions is empirical, and expresses it mathematically. It has to be, it's the nature of the job.

But like most scientists, he misses the point. People aren't data points. They can't be assessed statistically, because there are other factors that don't on the surface, seem to directly apply in a an assessment of harm. It'd make life more complicated, and more importantly, more expensive, and clinical studies are driven by cost grants.

I'd argue, that his arguments ignore the supply chain. The guys that supply LSD, Cannabis, illegal alcohol and cigs share a common trait, and that is they are violent, ruthless, businessmen. They'll do what they have to do to make money, and that money is reinvested to make more money, no matter what it takes. Prostitution, slavery, illegal substances, vat fraud.

If you smoke cannabis or skunk, they may well import 50-100% pure substances, but by the time they hit their target audience, it being diluted by tobacco, garden weeds and brick dust. They'll be lucky if they get 1% purity.

Max Profit doesn't give a monkeys bum about the human cost and debris in the pursuit of profit, and whatever government or it's advisor expect of them, even if you legalise it, whatever 'it' may be, there's always going to be an underground trade in cheap products for quick profit for the supplier.