Offline for about 24 hours while my internet provider 'upgrades my line'. Does this mean I'll be able to type faster?

I'll leave you as Bear works her way through a gigantic bag of Prawn Crackers after an equally enourmouse Chinese meal, cooked by yours truly. Oh, aright then - we ordered out for the mobs egg fried rice. Yuk.

My thought for the day is that the Brit and States Immigration offices are crap. So there.

Yer can tell a Yorkshireman....

But you can't tell him much :)

Apparently, I'm the most cussed, stubborn, pig headed, unfeeling man on the whole planet.

It's seems I can't see a crisis if it jumped up and bit my bum, and I'm responsible for everything from the fall of the Roman Empire to World War III, by simply being there.

Phew. That's all right then. For a minute there I though there was something wrong.

I was there at the fall of the Roman Empire? Golly, I know at my age my memory is bad but..

Best do a bum check soon. Not seen mine for ages. (Oh, no it isn't) Brit Joke there. See what I did :)

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Disassociation - well, it is a Stroke blog :) A common word, uncommonly applied. In the interests of promoting understanding.

Ever heard the phrase "The left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing" ?

It's kinda like that.

Stroke survivors variety in the alterations of function vary across a wide spectrum - hey, that sounds good - sounds better than the word disability anyways :)

It can vary from next to nowt, through life-support, to the most common perception, paralysis, typically down one side. I have lack of feeling on the right side, and disassociation.

For me that means I have movement, to a lesser extent than I had before, but the movement I have on my right side seems to belong to someone else, if I forget. Day to day, it's not a problem, unless I stop and think. Then me and Righty need to negotiate, which is not entirely a physical function - there's some intellect involved too. I'll post more if anyone requests so.

So thar'y'go. A new word, if your interested in the processes of stroke.

A couple more words you might like to google are Dysphasia and Aphasia.

I'm off to ignore World War 3 :)

You may have heard that you can use Cat Litter instead of salt and grit on your path.

DON'T DO IT.

It works. For about five minutes.

Then it turns into goo, and gets everywhere.

And proceeds to confuse the hell out every cat in the area.

Have you any idea what a garden full of befuddled cats looks like?

Odd thing, writing.

I was helping a preacher friend of mine (at the un-holy hour at 3am) and he noticed I hadn't posted for a while - he ''a reader not a commenter'' he explained. We got into a discussion about writers block. Being a preacher, he's required to produce, on a deadline, and regularly. Worse, he has to read his own notes, and adapt it to his audience, and occasionally, after many hours, junk it all together and speak off the cuff.

It's not widely appreciated, but preachers don't just work Saturdays or Sundays, but often have to teach and speak at least 4-5 other days a week too. And often have to be entertaining too. Then there's the pastoral, caring work they do. So faced with a blank piece of paper, horror can set it. At 3am.

I don't believe in writers block. I pointed out in our heated, good natured discussion that you have to be organised. I use notes. Hundreds of them, on good old fashioned index cards and notepad on the PC. It helps, at least in his profession, to plan ahead and follow a theme.

One of my favourite writers is Jo Davidson in The Sheffield Star - www.thestar.co.uk. She writes what is effectively a blog about current events and family life. If you read through her articles, which are aimed at the ladies, and then study them closely, you can get a glimps at the careful research and organisation that goes into her articles.

So Steve mate - I hope you don't mind I've used you as an example :)

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So why haven't I been around? Well, back in October my household expanded to +1. My eldest lad, who already has a lady friend, met a lady from Illinois on line. She, and her mum had visited, while stopping in a hotel in July. The young (20, and therefore a minor in the States) decided in October she would come to Brit on holiday, and stop with a family in in our area. However, once she arrived in the UK, she discovered they were off on holiday themselves, and subsequently, didn't want her.

Guess where she's been, penniless, with one suitcase, with no chance of an income or accommodation? And she's loud and aggressive and.... 'Nuff said. As you can imagine, with my lad already having a lady friend, it's been a bit awkward, and legally - jimminy cricket. Worse, her mum in the States won't take her back and she doesn't have any means of getting back.

And, just to make life interesting, elderly parent, (late 70's) turned up on christmas eve very ill after a pipe burst in her loft, collapsing her ceilings, and is still here. Privacy is very hard to come by :(

I'm open to suggestions.................

Musings

Been a little eventful. But now isn't the time to post about it.

But it's amazing what reserves you can draw on for unexpected situations, physically and mentally.

Quite takes me back way back when......

It's funny how experience prepares you for the future. Situations that might have left you a gibbering wreck in the past you think, 'hmm, been there'. And while everyone else is running around like a headless chicken, you're sat there watching it in slow-mo. Cool.

Then you act, and it's good.

Am I the only one who sits and watches and while everyone wants an answer, and a solution, and they want it now, you think, 'hmm, let it roll?'

A person has but life to live, in my opinion, and a quick fix isn't the best or permenant solution.

Grasshopper :)

Talk about good neighbours.....

A few minutes ago I poked my head out of my front door after hearing a tremendous racket. My neighbour from across the road, who I rarely see, was furiously wielding a shovel clearing my path of snow and ice, pausing only to explain " Don't want you breaking your neck Dee mate - I've cleared all that chuffin' ice to the end of the road too....."

It's just below zero according to my little weather station (a very British hobby of mine) and the inch or too we've had has frozen like rock. It's about 50 yards to the end of our road. Not only had he cleared the pavements, he's also cleared the road too. What a star ! He's going to find himself a proud recipient of my extra strong Wheelie Chilli Dip :)

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I wonder why he calls me Dee? My name doesn't begin with 'D'? I've told him, and he just says "Ok Dee, it's just that you are the Dee..". Mind you, it doesn't begin with 'W' either :)

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Oh my, the smell of home made bread is wafting through the house. Well okidoke, it's from a bread machine. Which is kinda cheating. But the smell is just the same.

That smell is it's best advert. Neighbours are buying them, my eldest lass, who recently got her own place has insisted on one for Christmas. I read somewhere that there are two essentials to selling your house. The smell of fresh bread, and fresh ground brewing coffee.

I can believe it.

I have at long last discovered an advantage of being a stroke survivor.

No, not that now someone else does the shopping and washing (though sadly, not the washing up)

Cat fleas. I am their anathema, their pink apocalypse. I am so bunged up with a horrendous chemical brew in the name of prevention, that one bite, and their a gonna. One foolhardy individual managed to survive all of 5 seconds. I watching in amusement as it landed, bit, staggered drunkenly in a circle (that'll be the Glenfidich) then leapt into space before doing a brief break-dance into oblivion on the laminate.

I'm seriously thinking of renting myself out.

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I've had a word with Santa - he's been at a bit of a loose end since failing his CRB check - and apparently he's bringing me a nice expensive point-and-shoot camera. So prepare to be amazed :)

Paddington in the snow......